The student and the teacher

I have just returned from an incredible 3 days with a most incredible adoptive family! I was honored to be asked to enter their home for a weekend in order to assess, observe and intervene in an effort to 'keep this family together'. I entered their family as a teacher and came away as a student, yet again!

I pray that after many hours, many tears, many hugs and many deep disclosures of past pain, many new paradigms taught for relating, communicating and living in harmony that their family will be richer, more tolerant of each other and more able to treat each other with the love and respect that they each so deserve. I pray that they are on their way from Chaos to Calm! And I believe that they are~

But here, I want to share with you, what they taught me-lessons that we all need to keep in mind, yet so easily let go of in times of stress~

*I am reminded of the power of resilience in children who have been burned, beaten, bruised, starved, taped up, tied down, left alone, and abused in ways that most of you reading this simply can not really understand. Surviving is in and of itself a feat to be proud of, for a time.

*I am reminded that there are many languages of love, and if we are open to receiving them from others will feel much more loved than if we demand to be loved in only certain ways

*I am reminded that behavior is but a window into the underlying emotions that we all carry around, afraid to speak, so we act them out

*I am reminded that influence is much more powerful than control on the part of parents

*I am reminded that when we learn early on that all adults/parents are not to be trusted because of what they have or have not done, we carry that belief into adulthood where it is no longer a truth, yet remains a belief that we live by today`prohibiting us from trusting others even now, years later

*I am reminded that the anger that puts holes in walls, lights fires in bathrooms, begs to be drugged up and drank down is but a dark mask for fear in any of us

*I am reminded that I do not understand what they have been through. Perhaps with their stories told to me over and over I will begin to appreciate it, but understand their understanding of it, not really

*I am reminded that I was but another adult entering their lives, only to leave them like the others

*I am reminded that our child welfare system does the best that we can, yet leaves so much to be desired for children who, at 10 years of age, have lived in more homes than years they have been alive

*I am reminded that the lens through which I see life, love, family and relationship is not the same lens through which this family may see. It is my objective to see through their lens, not always mine

*I am reminded that once children have been separated from a parent, it becomes a part of their identity-who they are. They live always knowing, always sensing that they can be separated again, no matter what you say. This knowing, leads to much angst, anger, fear and sadness until we share it and it can begin to subside

*What is sharable becomes much more bearable

*I am reminded of the power of a loving father's hand laid gently on his son's shoulder, a son who does not yet trust, or even understand 'father'

*I am reminded that the suffering of the little ones becomes the suffering of generations if we do not make moves now to prevent it

*I am reminded that you can not give away that which you do not already have

*I am reminded that we do not see the world as it is, but it is only as we see it

I wonder how you see the world today? Is it loving, calm, gentle, providing, peace and fun? Or is your world angry, dark, scary, lonely, untrustworthy?

Do you, like me, perhaps need to become the student again?

You are not alone, reach out if you need support. You are meant to be happy, no matter what your past brought you, today you can bring to yourself a different experience. You may just need to become the student again!

Peace,
Juli

Remember, your first coaching call is FREE: just email Linda and she will get you scheduled in with Juli right away! linda@coaching-forlife.com

The Power of One

You are mortal. You do not have forever.....what is your purpose here?

Every minute is sacred.
Tomorrow is gone.
Half of this summer is gone, never coming back.
What will you do with your minutes today?

For parents, I have attached an ariticle here, written a couple of years ago, about using your influence with children, especially very challenging, scared children. Please, take 10 of your sacred minutes today, and read on....

The Power of One

Please, if you need some support to begin fulfilling your life purpose, to figuring out what your purpose is here on earth, or the meaning for all of this, contact us! The first coaching call is FREE and coaching is an extremely convenient, confidential and motivational means for getting to where it is you have always known you want to be, but may just not be sure how to start the trip! Let us know if you need some help, linda@coaching-forlife.com


For today, this minute,
Peace,
Juli
www.coaching-forlife.com

Embracing what is

So, as often happens, it was during a coaching call today that something struck me, and I am here to share!

Accepting whatever it is that comes to you today, (instead of fighting it, resisting it, hating it, getting mad at it, or whatever it is you would typically do with the challenges of your day,) ...will allow you more freedom to actually deal with whatever it is, from more of a state of love, than from the typical state of fear that most of us exist in without even knowing it!

There is such rich life lesson opportunity in the challenges if only we will see it that way. And especially in the most uncomfortable times. It is the discomfort that comes your way to teach you something about you that you may otherwise not have the opportunity to learn.

Of course, most of us wish we could get through the dark times faster, with more ease, with quicker insight and understanding, but the way I see it each time we move through something painful, dark or threatening and come out ok, we have yet one more experience to prove to us that everything, no matter how bad, does happen for a reason, and that we really are and will be OK!

If you can allow yourself to be immersed in this process of moving through the challenges, remain ever aware of your body/mind responses, and conscious of all around you as you move through this process, you will find fascinating information surface about you and your life.

This is living, this is your key to keep living in the present moment, refusing to be taken under by the dark past or scary future, but rather a deep desire to simply live each moment that you are gifted with.

Today, embrace every challenge as a part of your learning experience. Celebrate today!

peace,
Juli
www.coaching-forlife.com
866-570-0604

freedom

How often do you say what they want to hear?
How often do you to gossip about others?
How often do you find yourself in the presence of others to appease them?
How often do you do what you 'should' because you 'should'?
How often do you feel lonely in a crowd?
How often do you feel heard, no, I mean really heard?
How often are you touched gently?
How often do you touch gently?
How often is your love energy sitting dormant?
How often do you feel the need to take the center stage?
How often do you see the beauty of life around you?
How often do you hear birds sing?
How often do you laugh until it hurts?
How often do you feel like crying?

It is July 4, 2009. We live in a country where we are free, free to live, love and laugh openly, at all times, with all people in all ways.

Why would we choose to remain prisoners of fear, not live within that freedom offered in all ways and at anytime we choose it?

If you continue to live in fear, if you continue to remain prisoner of anything, anyone, any experience or any thought, feeling or emotion of yesterday, you are not free.

Today, of all days, consider your freedom and take it back~ others are dying so that you may, and the most important ONE already did~

If you need help, reach out.
Do not give another day of your life away.
It is the only one you will ever have, here on earth.

Happy Independence Day,
Peace,
Juli
www.coaching-forlife.com