Choose the Mess!

Holidays 2009:
These are the "those were the days" memories that your children will take with them and talk about one day, not far from now.

My daughter needed cleats, what's new, she has played competitive soccer all her life! I agreed to take her to shop. When I hit the mall, the crowds, the crying babies, angry adults, frustrated shopkeepers and overwhelming sensory experience at the same time that I saw the price tag on THE cleats, I lost it.

Regulation, out the window-gone-disappeared-lost! I was frustrated with her, the shoes, myself, and the timing. I was grumpy, short with her and far from peaceful inside. I was not the mother that I long to be remembered as.

As I reflected driving home, I quickly realized some things:
that I am so blessed to have a daughter who is healthy enough to play soccer
that I am so blessed to have the means to buy her THE cleats
that I am so blessed to have a teen who actually wants to be in a mall with her mother
that I am so blessed to be able to provide a home, food and clothing for my family
that I am so blessed to be with my family this sacred time of year

All those blessings, yet all I could feel was exasperated.

I do not want my child to remember me as exasperated. I want her to feel blessed when she remembers me. I do not want my child to remember me short with her, but patient with her. I do not want my child to remember me as grumpy, but as full of joy and peace.

So, today I will learn from my past and be a better person in the moment. I will count all my blessings when I begin to get stressed: I will allow gratitude for what I do have to fill me when I am sulking in what I don't have: and when life gets really tough I will remember that the option is death. Having lost my own mother way too young, I will thank God for having me here with my children.

Life is messy. Death is not. Today I choose the mess~

Peace,
Juli
www.coaching-forlife.com

Thoughts on valuing children

When children know they are valued, when they truly feel valued in the deepest part of themselves, then they feel valuable~

The feeling of being valuable-"I am a valuable, worthwhile person"-is essential to good mental health and emotional regulation. It is a cornerstone of self discipline.

And, it is a direct effect of parental love. Such a conviction of value and worth are derived from childhood experiences in which the child is valued. This conviction is extremely difficult to achieve in adulthood alone.

Conversely, when children have learned through the parent/child relationship that they are indeed valued it is almost impossible to destroy that spirit, regardless of the challenges of adult life.

Please accept this as a gentle reminder to value your children, all of your children, throughout this holiday season. For some children, this is a very difficult time of year and they need to be valued intensely.

Peace,
Juli
www.coaching-forlife.com

Have you succeeded today?

You have just had the test, again, today, as everyday.

Have you been gentle, kind, loving, peaceful?

Have you created a safe haven in your home and life for others?

Have you become the nice person that you long to be?

Have you provided unconditional compassion, forgiveness and grace, or are you waiting for someone else to go first?

You alone can judge whether you pass or not. You alone know who falls asleep at night, and who awakes to begin anew each day. You alone know if you feel peace internally or if you have succumbed to the toxic, darkness of our world.

Life is just messy sometimes. Life is painful sometimes. Life is bad sometimes.
You alone may choose to become messy, painful and bad in reaction to life.

Or you alone can choose to create, find and grow joy and peace, even in the midst of chaos.
You alone can choose to see God in you, to find God in you, to feel His presence in every ounce of your being and to live the life that God would have you live. I for one, do not believe that God would choose for you to live in darkness, anger, resentment, blame and fear.

If you are angry at your children, your partner, your job, your life....know that the anger you feel kills. Refuse to exist in the anger. Choose to live in the light, regardless....

You, alone.

Blame nobody but yourself for the state of your life today.
If it needs to change, get on with it.

Sending peace to you,
Juli
www.coaching-forlife.com
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866-570-0604